The Hylia - The Old Man

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It's been awhile, but the Old Man finally got over his Thanksgiving feast. After spending the week eating and watching football, he finally decided to head on over to his laptop in the corner of his cave to bring you this week's edition of his always popular column. Just try not to mention that Twilight Princess was supposed to be out by now, it drives him crazy.

'Tis the season to be bored... If it weren't for Notre Dame football, I would be going out of my mind. You see, every day I wake up and expect to get calls and e-mails about my "grand return" to the Zelda series. However, this isn't possible because the vessel for this event, Twilight Princess, hasn't left the port yet. It's been set back six months, of course. Each day I am reminded of how badly Nintendo messed up on a key opportunity. To better convey this to you, I've decided to use a little analogy involving college football, and TSA's favorite conference, the Big XII (which sucks, and you'll see why).
Link's taking Gisele Bündchen home for the holidays.
We all know Texas is going to play in the Big XII championship this coming Saturday. What you may not know is how its opponent ended up there. For all intent purposes, Colorado will be Microsoft, and Iowa State will be Nintendo. You see, Colorado had a chance to win at home to go to the big game. Win, and they are in. Lose, and Iowa State had a chance to go instead. So against a crappy Nebraska team, Colorado got hammered. This is like Microsoft and it's X-Box 360 this fall, which had a chance to dominate the console market, but a shady launch line-up and nothing to really offer in the near future have caused many faithful to now wonder why the hell they spent several hundreds of dollars on this hunk of junk. Now, after the Colorado loss, all Iowa State had to do was win. And up big time in the fourth quarter, it looked like a done deal. This was basically Nintendo having Twilight Princess ready and hyped to take out all the wind from X-Box 360's sails. Then, just like Iowa State, Nintendo blows it near the end. Iowa State blew the lead and lost in overtime. Nintendo delayed Twilight Princess with only three months to go until its release. Nintendo just blew a big chance. And just like that, Colorado, even though they got destroyed and lost, backed into the Big XII championship game. Just like Microsoft will go unchallenged until PS3 or Twilight Princess ... whichever comes first. But TSA would like to point out (yes, he reads everything we write before publishing it) that Colorado gets the "honor" of facing Texas, who will destroy Colorado. Just like Microsoft will get the pleasure of facing PS3, which will destroy X-Box 360 (You really think a 500 dollar price tag will stop it from selling like hot-cakes).

Who can you trust... So the Zelda movie isn't happeneing...yet. According to Club Nintendo, they admitted their magazine had an error with the information about a Zelda movie being confirmed by Reggie Fils-Aime. Now, I know The Hylia got a lot of "publicity" because of the story; GameStop and Joystiq both had links to the site, which in turn appeared on Planet Gamecube and other mid-level news sites. I know a lot of people would just like to bash our credibility. But hold on, look at it more closely. TSA did provide a scan of the story, and verified it did in fact exist. The information was in existence, it was not made up. The problem was ascertaining the validity of the report. Sadly, unless you have Reggie on speed-dial, it is pretty hard to confirm something like this with the big guy. So, the lesson learned here is; not everything you read is true, even if the information is from an established source that appears to have evidence. But The Hylia did report the story in good faith that it was true, so if anyone is to blame, it is Club Nintendo.

What's going on in Hyrule... I'm not going to go into much detail, but it seems people still hold a grudge against this site because they believe we are "copying" them. It's all in the name. I won't get into it because I can't claim to know much about the history, I just know that much of the staff here who do are fed up with it. When you have to stoop so low as to say using part of the name of your site is "being unoriginal", even when it wasn't intended, you have issues. Especially when your site hasn't been updated in a year and is nothing more than a place holder. Moral of this rant is, if you can't say something nice, just shut up.

Putting out an APB for… Annie from Zelda no Densetsu. Ever since the site went down a long time ago, the community has been without one of its best contributors. The original translator of the Zelda manga.

Zelda fan who gets to ride Epona to work… Goddess Rinoa, for translating the Zelda manga in Annie's stead while still trying to finish up at college. Additionally, she is trying to be more accurate to the Zelda series and has re-translated many of the manga already done.

Zelda fan who should hide out in the Evil Jar… This goes out to the staff at Hylia.com. When your site is updated before the end of this decade, then you can begin to talk trash again.

Letters… Hey Old Man its me again already! I was just wondering what it says in Hylian on the banner on the front page of the site. -Wise Link Finally, somebody asked this. The Hylian on the top left says this: “One's first step in wisdom is to question everything and one's last is to come to terms with everything.” The other day I was talking to Link (cool guy, you should hang out with him). We were talking about girls and he just can't make up his mind. Who should he date? Saria? Zelda? Ruto? He asked me to ask you what your opinion was, 'cos you're old, smart and awesome (I said the last part). He also said that if he had one wish, it'd be to have laser eyes. A laser shootin' sword isn't enough COs when he gets punched, it kinda goes away. Lynkx I’m not sure about laser eyes, but it would definitely be cool to have laser nostrils. That would rule. As for who Link should date, I find it funny you are one of the first people to not mention Malon in your list of candidates. But in all honesty, Link is currently dating superstar and model Gisele Bundchen. Would you happen to know if TSA is still planning on making his fan film? The first thing that made me think he may not be is the lack of news on it which was then followed by not mentioning it in his article on the possibility of a Zelda film. Then I noticed the link to his fan film site was removed and the most recent reason why I believe he may no longer be making it is the news of an official Zelda film that is going to be made by Nintendo. So has TSA really given up on his fan film or am I just reading into things a little too much? TSA just made a post recently in The Hylia public forums that he is resuming the project. He said he originally dropped the idea when Nintendo apparently announced they were going to be handling the film, but now that it was just an inaccurate report, he will pick up the project again. Dear Old Man, I just have two questions for you. 1) What is your opinion on whether or not there should be voice acting in Zelda games? 2) What is your take on Zelda fan fiction and fan art? Thank you, Art1st4786 I think there should be voice acting for everyone except Link. I believe it is time for Nintendo to take that step. As for Zelda fan fiction and art, I’m not a fan of reading other people’s stories, and I don’t browse through fan art sections of sites. However, I think both are great for the community because they allow fans to expand their imaginations and bring to life the world of Zelda.

Closing thoughts… You may have wondered where I came from with that Big XII comparison above. You see, I’m a big Notre Dame fan, and I was hoping earlier on if USC lost to ND (they really did, stupid clock), they would play TSA’s favorite team, the Texas Longhorns, in the Rose Bowl. Notre Dame barely pulled it out against Stanford despite playing great. Texas barely escaped out of Texas A&M with a win, and have to win one more game to go on. But, if you aren’t a college football fan, you may not know how the post-season system works. They use something called the BCS. If you want to know how it works and why it is used, you’d probably have a better chance figuring out the Zelda timeline before you get the BCS. The point is, there is always something more complex and confusing than the Zelda timeline, and the BCS administrators are messing it up worse than some people think Aonuma is messing up the timeline.

Did you know… Sages from Nintendo’s Nsider Forums got a really cool Triforce pin and certificate. They look pretty cool, and you can’t get them anywhere else. I wonder how much one would fetch on eBay. Anyway, TSA got one, and he put up images of them here.

Want to drop the Old Man a line... then go ahead and e-mail him.