The Hylia - The Old Man

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Nobody's perfect. Not even the Indianapolis Colts. Not even the soon-to-be-defeated USC Trojans. Perfection is an illusion. But it also shouldn't be used as an excuse. Even still, the Old Man wasn't "perfect" in keeping his column a weekly feature when he missed last week. Still, he's back again to give us a last minute shopping spree of rants and raves.

The Tingle RPG Cometh… There's a rumor that Hyrule.net started, I believe, that Tingle RPG would solely be a release in Japan. Well, though this is technically old news, nobody reported it - not even TSA. In Nintendo Power's Volume 199, there is some section which shows upcoming titles. The DS section revealed that Tingle RPG will indeed be coming to the US in 2006, contrary to the "sources" Hyrule.net, IGN and other sites who went along with the report said. The game also now has a media page profile on Nintendo's site, which means Nintendo of America, Inc., acknowledges its existence and are planning for its release.
In case you were wondering, she won the "Hottest Fox" contest. Oh yeah!
Still, this isn't really something I would gloat about. What the hell is this game going to really be about? With Mario Kart DS and Animal Cross: Wild World delivering exactly what fans want, and the upcoming Metroid Prime: Hunters appearing to do so as well, us Zelda fans have to wonder what the hell Miyamoto and Aonuma are doing with Zelda DS. Perhaps a Four Swords DS would have been better - most people rejoiced when Aonuma confirmed the DS title would not be a Four Swords title. The title is also supposed to be online, by Aonuma's own admission. Still, you would have to be a complete idiot to not believe some form of a traditional Zelda game is heading to DS as well. E3 should shed some more light on this situation.

The Link, The Wizzrobe and the Warthog … I'm pretty sure 2007 will be a huge year for video games. Well, apparently this is when Halo 3 will be coming out, and this is also when Halo: The Movie will come out. So, I know we've beat this dead horse already, but I saw The Chronicles of Narnia this weekend and had some rethinking about a live-action Zelda movie occur. While Chronicles was a good film, I couldn't help but feel it was a bit cheesy. You see, Lord of the Rings was cool because it avoided over-the-top fantasy for the most part. Chronicles was full-blown fantasy and magic. Those were pretty well-known fantasy elements and creatures, and still I cringed a bit at how it all looked. I'm thinking Zelda would not fare any better. So, the Old Man officially does not support a live action Zelda film. I am positive it would fail.

What's new in Hyrule … Hyrule.net expanded its coverage to multiple languages, making it one of the first sites to attempt to cater to more than just one language (or two, for that matter). At Nsider forums, TSA got the staff to approve another version of my "column" over there each week, although it will be handled by TSA himself, not me. Goddess Rinoa of Zelda-Infinite said she's going to resume work on the Zelda no Video translations. The IGN Zelda Board had its latest Zelda Awards winners announced. Thought a bit late, Exploding Deku Nut celebrated its third birthday. Congrats!

Putting out an APB for … Goriyas. When are they going to make a come back? I miss those boomerang tossing rodents.

Fan who gets to ride Epona to work … Though this happened awhile ago, there was this one "female" Zelda fan who took a rather "risqué" photo of herself. It is PG-13, and courtesy of The Odyssey of Hyrule...but be warned. [here]

Fan who should hide out in the Evil Jar … Second week in a row for this one, but they earned it. Morons at GameFAQs who now claim they own Twilight Princess.

Letters … oh wise old man I have a question to ask of u...is the reason people die because I touch myself at night? Donut You know the saying, "Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens". Don't think anyone dies, but you might go blind. Hi Old Man, I was just wondering about the six-part interview with Eiji Aonuma and TSA. I remember reading the first part and it was great. I was looking forward to the next five. Then I waited and waited and waited. I finally figured that they wouldn't be coming. But here is my question, are the other parts not coming because TSA didn't get to ask the questions he wanted so he only could make a one part interview or is he just too busy to make it at the moment. I understand his circumstance and so I don't want to rush him, just I want to know if there is anything to look forward to or it the six part interview dead and gone forever. Thank you for your time and please make sure that Link takes his wooden sword with him on the adventure. TSA made a post on the public forum stating all would be revealed in the next installment of Rauru's Return's "Harkinian", which should be out January 1st, 2006. Other than that, I can only say he has not told me about any other updates. Dear Old Man, I've been watching and rewatching the footage from the Twilight Princess demo from E3. The scene where Link, Ilia, and Colin are attacked is the one I've been looking at the most. After all three have been knocked out, and Ilia and Colin are being held by the Moblins (If that's what they are), another Moblin (?) shows up riding a large boar and is right next to the unconscious Link, almost walking on him. When the camera switches to his view, he's looking around. He looks to the right of the waterfall, then to the left, then down at the water, as if he's searching for something or someone. Do you think he was searching for Link, even though he was lying on the ground next to him and was too stupid/fat to look down even further? Or do you think he was looking for something/someone else? Sincerely, Art1st4786 P.S. Do you think Virginia Tech should have beaten Florida State, who isn't even a ranked team? I think the Moblin saw something he probably was ordered to look out for, or else noticed something that piqued his interest. He blew his horn after he saw what he was looking for. On the note of E3 2005 footage, TSA recently secured a copy of GameCube Cafe's "exclusive" footage. He will be putting up a feature sometime soon, but basically the DVD had nothing "exclusive" at all. So if you see a DVD on eBay for exclusive footage, don't buy it for that. But it is nice to have the footage on DVD - but IGN's footage is superior. I'm not sure about Virginia Tech. I think they were overrated the entire season, and I think the ACC is overrated. Though this happened two weeks ago, we'll see how good FSU really is when they take on Penn State. Penn State should rip them apart. Hey-ho Old, Mold Man! My pal got this new program on his laptop called "The Game Factory" a few months ago. He's been using it for a while now and wants to make a Zelda RPG game. It's quite similar to Final Fantasy which he openly admits. Anyway, he's decided to make you a part of Link's party, but he can't decide on what class you should be. He thinks you should be either a red mage or a black mage. Which one do you think you're best suited to? Also, have you seen that new show "Yu-gi-oh G/X"? I think it's the gayest show on television. -MegaWaffleMan I'd rather be a black mage because then I could cast fire, which is what I do now anyway, and burn morons who piss me off by stabbing me after I give them free money or advice. So tell him to make me a Black Mage! As for Yu...whatever the hell it is called, I wish it would burn in hell. You should probably spell "gay" differently to avoid criticism. For example, I spell it"geinous" when I mean gayness to avoid trouble. Turn it around on the morons who are tree-hugging hippies.

Closing Thoughts … E3 is coming up soon, and The Hylia will be covering it for the first time. Hopefully even if Twilight Princess comes out before E3, there will be other Zelda stuff to cover. However, I've noticed other sites going too far with their exclusive E3 stuff and selling these DVDs. Well, rest assured this time around, we'll get to the bottom of everything and make sure it is all public. No more "behind closed doors" crap.

Did you know … There was actually a sequel to Zelda's Adventure planned for the ill-fated CD-i system by Philips? However, by the time Philips got around to getting Viridis to create the sequel, the license agreement with Nintendo expired. Nintendo wisely declined to extend or renew their relationship with Philips.

Want to drop the Old Man a line... then go ahead and e-mail him.